Perfomance anxiety

I started this blog with excitement in my fingers and my heart. As soon as I saw that someone was following my blog as well as knowing that my boyfriend specifically told people to watch my blog, I froze. Complete blockage ensued. I don't know what it was today, but it broke.

Doubtfully most people are not aware of the extreme performance anxiety I experienced and to some extent still experience. I am a paradox. I love being on stage, but I really mind when people are specifically looking at me. I am better, much better.

So dear reader, if you are reading, thank you for your patience. I think the blockage has been fixed.

I am the embodiment of Marianne Williamson's poem. It is as follows:

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Perhaps...just perhaps that fear is what wears me out, what wears out so many of us.