Some day soon. Promise

Someday very, very soon there will be some fun posts. Maybe I'll cook and share recipes. Or maybe there will be pictures of me in a theatrical production. OR!!! I look forward to writing and posting pictures of my new home with Steve. In Seattle!!! I know I'll post pictures of my sacred mountain, Mount Rainer. Stay tuned. The black cloud is going to pass. It just has to, doesn't it?

This black to gray time started in December 2000. Ok, I did have a golden summer of sun, fun, great clothing, shoes, and slim, fitness, too! I can do it again. I can, I can. It all had everything to do with the fact that I had some money at that point. Now doesn't that sound just awful....but, really, REAL$Y ...being poor is no fun.

However, I'm also going on the premise that being in a fun, supportive, and loving relationship may be a ton of fun too. HEY!!! Steve shops, cooks, and does my laundry! So who knows just how happy I could be some day...!?! I'm willing to give it a try.

And, one has to know that I want to be NOT so worn out. I'm looking forward to a blog named, "Fun with Debbie". OK, maybe that's not such a good name.

Sunday, A true day of rest

Today started after a very difficult night. Nights are often filled with demons. Lately I sleep with all the lights and TV on. Last night nothing helped. Sometimes, especially at night,the world looks dark, unjust, and unforgiving. The demons took over. The demons try to destroy me by telling me lies. They try to make me believe that I am worth nothing. The demons try to make my mistakes a life sentence.

This morning I decided I could not let the demons destroy me. These demons do not belong to me. These demons are the people that want to hurt me and my children. I will not, I cannot let them win. My humanness and failings do not convict. They are merely opportunities to learn and to fix and not only survive, but thrive.

So this morning, I decided today was only about rest and serenity. And, so far, it's worked. Today, I even felt like dancing and dance, I did. I let the gentleness and the spirit flow within me. It wasn't difficult. It wasn't anything but goodness and love. I read once that the only way to be victorious over evil is to allow it to be absorbed into love.

It's that time, and I'm going to bed. Good night to everyone I love. Sleep well. We will win. Love.